Put on a navy suit and act like you're Il Padrino. Second voice is more like a low-toned goat fucker.
- Hello.
Hello.
- Hi.
Who am I talking to?
- Your friend, Tayyip, your friend.
What do you want from me?
- I want to do you a favour.
I'm listening.
- I want to tell you about 'events'.
What kind of events?
- Big events, Tayyip, I thought you should know.
I don't know about your events but I would like to know who you are so that I can persecute you.
- Very good, very good. We know you like that and that you are a strong leader. That is why I call you. I need you, and you need me.
I don't need you, and you can eat my shorts.
- I have booked you a hotel in Marmaris on the 15th of July. It's a favour ... it's a ... holiday. Win or lose, I will not let you down.
If you intend to make a coup, you are making a big mistake.
- Would I call you if I intended to?
What are your intentions, goat?
- You failed us in Iraq. You've left traces. Set it straight.
I don't know who you are and what you're referring to, this call is over.
- Very well, my friend. It would be wise if you make new friendships. When all is over, I have a house for you and a house for your son in Saudi Arabia. Come over to Marmaris and you'll be informed.
Suck my dick.
- Good night, Tayyip.
And so it went. NATO prepared a weak coup through the chain of command, Erdogan took out the opposition, Russia shook his hand, and the ISIS experiment came to an end. Sometimes all it takes is a phone call between old friends.
